Friday the 13th

My colonoscopy was scheduled for Friday the 13th and I trotted off to my local hospital for the procedure with few worries about the outcome.  At this stage I hadn’t really considered that there would be anything wrong with my back passage arrangements.  Particularly as things had returned to normal since I saw my doctor only a couple of weeks earlier.

Colonoscopy is a test that allows your doctor to look at the inner lining of your large intestine (rectum and colon). He or she uses a thin, flexible tube called a colonoscope to look at the colon. A colonoscopy helps find ulcers, colon polyps, tumors, and areas of inflammation or bleeding.

Now I am not so sure that my doctor was using the thin flexible tube colonoscope, it felt more like GoPro camera strapped to the end of a garden hosepipe.  However, he did provide a running commentary of the process and you can of course choose to view proceedings on a nice wide screen TV, which is placed next to your bed whilst the doctor controls his anal drone.

All went well with the process and as he reached the depths of my large intestine I was feeling pretty positive as he hadn’t found anything untoward.  I did watch a little bit of the journey, a sort of internal version of 50,000 leagues under the sea, but I got a little bored and did spend a few fleeting moments wondering whether he had ever found anything unusual or unexpected whilst he was rummaging around in someone’s rear channels.

So, on the way out the doc turns the camera to get a view of the bits he missed on the way up.  He spotted a few small polyps which he removed and then as he approached the home straight he stopped as he found something that wasn’t right.  He had found my tumour.

Andrew Williams

50 year old, living with his colon and bowel cancer and all that that entails. Quietly sweary, family man living in Somerset, UK.

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