Sung to the tune of the great Roy Castle’s Record Breakers Theme Tune
Constipation, Constipation, Oo-ooh Constipation,
that’s what you get.
When you find yourself backed up,
‘cus your chemo blocks your guts,
Oo-ooh! constipation’s what you get.
(trumpet solo or in my case a windy bag solo)
Constipation’s what you get.
If your gonna be a bowel breaker ooooooh!
For my younger reader’s you can hear the original here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-gJV_kM33M
I don’t know where you get this amazing reserve of self inflicted humour but your analysis of it is truly touching and educational even at my age!