Life is a Rollercoaster
It’s now four weeks since I went under the knife and the super surgeon Louise cut me a new arsehole. Recovery has progressed well and I can now comfortably poop in a bag and not quite so comfortably sit down for […]
Great Colon Movie Titles
The five best colon/bowel related movie titles I could come up with. 1 The Fast And The Furious 2 Blazing Saddles (especially the famous beans round the fire scene) 3 Gone With The Wind 4 Star Trek: The Motion Picture (the […]
I’m Sexy And I Know It
Go on admit it, the first thing that you looked at was my moobs, not the bag! Nice aren’t they? That my friends is what a colostomy bag looks like on a sexy motherfucker of a fifty year-old boy from […]
Climbing The Walls
The recuperation and recovery malarkey isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It’s only just two weeks since the operation and ten days being at home and I am already crawling up the walls, as I am limited to what I […]
The Sex Vest
The conversation has of course turned, in recent days, to the topic of postoperative sexual relationships. As you may recall from an earlier post, I did offer Mrs W the chance of a quick bathroom shuffle whilst I was in […]
My Oh Zone
Following the recent, welcome news that the hole in the Ozone has shrunk slightly, I have some sad news for the science community. The shrinkage is going to be shortlived guys and girls, because I am producing enough noxious gas […]
Home Sweet Home
Arrived home yesterday lunchtime after four and a half days of hospital treatment and recovery time. Such a huge relief to be back in the voluminous bosom of my family (those that know Mrs W will understand that comment) and […]
Fifty shades of beige
All I have done today is eat and drink. Sounds great doesn’t it, well it fucking well isn’t. I know hospital food is an easy target and I shouldn’t really be taking a swipe at it. I know it must […]
The Truth is ….
I am now at the stage where my bowel is active and starting to work and for those of you who knew my pre-op regularity, you will know that I would probably be classed as high output. So now that […]
Strange Noises in the Night
I think I should demand to speak to my surgeon this morning as I am sure there has been some mistake. I. Believe that the surgical team have inadvertently fitted me with a whoopee cushion rather than a colostomy bag. […]