A few people have said recently that they expect me to be different when I come out the other side of this. So I have been left pondering, who or what will be different. Of course, there will be the obvious changes, I shall be without a few inches of my lower bowel and the chances are that Pappa will have a ‘brand new bag’ in the form of a colostomy. But, how will it affect me, my outlook, me the person.
I’m normally upbeat, positive, the typical glass half full type. My work usually involves me taking over leadership roles in schools and colleges and people often describe my style as calming, particularly when I am parachuted into a difficult business situation. I am also fortunate to have a stable and caring family situation. I have fantastic ‘normal’ children and a marriage of 22 years that is as strong today as it was when we first hopped in to the sack together.
Like most people who have hit fifty years of age, I have faced my fair share of struggles along the way. Some of my own making, others that have leapt out, given me a kicking and then jumped over what is left of me. On most occasions, I have hit the challenge head-on and found a way over, round or through the situation to ensure that I come out on top. I remember, a few years back being asked in an interview how I dealt with failure and my response was “I don’t, because I haven’t had to”. I was a bit of an arrogant shit to be fair, but the sentiment was spot-on.
Nothing of what life throws our way can be seen as a failure, if we face it and deal with the consequences, whatever they may be.
So after all this, I will be better, more resilient and more bloody positive about the life I lead. I will be different, but I will still be me. Slightly sweary, in love with it all.