I think I should demand to speak to my surgeon this morning as I am sure there has been some mistake. I. Believe that the surgical team have inadvertently fitted me with a whoopee cushion rather than a colostomy bag.
I wasn’t feeling that sleepy last night, after all I had been spark out for about six and a half hours on the operating slab yesterday afternoon, and so I drifted in and out of a doze through the early hours. I woke to the sound of my bag rasping out the most admiral wet fart sound. This has now continued throughout, with one extended ripple inflating the bag to a reasonable size.
My surgeon did warn me that this was likely for the first few days, as the bowel gets a bit agitated by all the action it has had during surgery. I do hope it settles down, otherwise I shall have to fit a set of bagpipes and knock a tune or two to keep the nurses amused.