The contemplative mood has passed, just like an English summer’s day. So I feel that it is about time I got this blog back on track and returned to the topic of poo and bowels.
Last week after my visit to the oncology consultant , I dropped in on the stoma care team to ask a couple of questions about my ostomy and how, as thing are now more settled, I can better manage my ‘bag for life’. The first issue to address was were to wear one’s trousers; above or below the stoma and as a result, should the bag be inside or outside of mon pantaloons. We settled for the moment on the below and out positioning, to be reviewed once I have lost a bit more weight, but we did do a few tweaks to the location of the bag which can allow more flexibility and enhance my ability to wear a more fashionable trouser-line. Don’t worry though, nothing will be poking out of the aforementioned trousers and there is no risk of an unfortunate bag flash to scare the children.
The second topic was a rather sticky one, literally. I had been finding that my ‘output’ (technical tosh for poop) was sitting at the top of my bag in a bit of a clump and not sliding down in to the bag. Apparently, this is a common issue that is known as ‘pancaking’, as in your poop sits at the top and as a result it gets flattened in to a bit of a pancake-like shape. Mark, the Stoma Nurse suggested a number of methods to overcome this, but top of the list was to spray/wipe a bit of cooking oil inside the top of the bag to help things slip down to a more natural position. I immediately, leapt to acquiring a suitable lubricant and spent a happy ten minutes in Sainsbury’s choosing between extra virgin olive oil, coconut oil or good old crisp ‘n’ Dry. Not wishing to risk a feint whiff of the chippy, I plumped for a pump-action olive oil spray that I am now using to lube up the uppermost quarters of my poop bag. Hopefully the pancaking will be no more and I shall smell of the olive groves of southern Italy.
By the way. a few people have asked about how the old bag and stoma thing works. So I will endeavour to create a short video in the coming weeks to show you all the mechanics of the process and how simple it all is. I promise there will be no poop on show.